A Word from our Sponsor: The Inner Critic

It feels only right that my first topic post acknowledges the unofficial main sponsor of this blog – enter my Inner Critic. She’s loud, she’s proud and like the stage five clinger she is, it requires a hefty level of covert tactical skills just to evade her. Skills I can confidently say I do not possess.

But the longer I spend with her and keep writing regardless, the more I am beginning to understand that carving out a place for her may not be such a bad thing after all.

Don’t give up your day job.

How many times have you heard the term “don’t give up your day job”? And how many times have you heard it in relation to a creative endeavour?

More often than not, as creatives we are conditioned to believe that expressions of our craft are only ever meant to be a little something on the side, passion projects, something to do for fun or as an outlet while we make the bread somewhere else.

This type of conditioning is exactly what keeps our Inner Critics content. It’s basically their love language. They don’t need to ask us what the hell we think we are doing spending our time creating art, because society has already asked it. They can just sit there quietly, smiling smugly because in that moment, they’re running the show and that's all they want.

It’s when we start investing more into the creative process, really caring and putting our heart into it, that they begin to get nervous. And louder. They try harder to convince us that actually, we don’t really know what we are doing, and we definitely don't have any business doing it.

I thought I met my inner critic for the first time when I fully committed to writing a novel. But in actual fact she was there all along, content and quiet because there was no reason to be otherwise. I hadn’t allowed myself to consider that writing full time one day, or heck, even finishing a book was an option.

Spectacularly terrifyingly sad.

If left unchecked, my Inner Critic can (and has) derailed me. Sometimes in such spectacular fashion that I’ve allowed myself months-long breaks from writing. 

It is said that the majority of people that start writing a book will never finish it. This statistic both terrifies and saddens me.

It terrifies me because being someone who is yet to actually finish a book, I am acutely aware that there is still a possibility I could become this statistic. But more than that, it saddens me. I can’t help but wonder how much of this is fuelled by very strong inner critics. And sure, wanting to write a book and actually doing it are two completely different things. Sometimes we have to try something before we can really decide whether it is something we want and enjoy or not.

But what I have learnt from my own experience, and listening to multiple accomplished authors speak on the topic, is that you’d be hard pressed finding any writers (whether aspiring or multi-published) that aren't familiar with their inner critic. Talent or abilities are irrelevant.

How incomprehensively sad to consider all of the art lost, simply because that voice was too strong.

A blissful barnacle.

When I powered through NanoWrimo in 2023, I chose to completely ignore my Inner Critic. I pretended she wasn’t there, being blissful in my ignorance and all that. I clung to my keyboard, forcing the words onto the page, while she clung to me like the insistent barnacle that she is.

I ended up burnt out and completely overwhelmed. I was so frustrated with my book I couldn’t even bring myself to look at it. It took me 18 months of putting my writing energy somewhere else to have the courage to re-read that piece. It was my first ever first draft, left incomplete, and I was convinced that the almost 40,000 words I had written were utter rubbish.

A healthy side of something.

Many emotions were felt while I re-read that WIP. I assumed I would be feeling something along the lines of aversion with a healthy side of cringe. But in reality, I wasn’t. I felt pride. Sure, it was a total mess, but there was still something in the chaos that lit me up inside. It had heart. It had humour. There were even scenes that I had completely forgotten about that had me not only filled with joy but excited for what this could become.

Printed evidence that my first ever, first draft exists, even if it's incomplete.

Critically in control.

It was my Inner Critic that kept me from revisiting that WIP for so long. If I had let her stay in control, I wouldn’t be writing this post, and I wouldn’t still be able to call myself an aspiring writer. I’d be that statistic.

When it comes to my Inner Critic, I’ve learned that ignoring her or pretending she doesn’t exist just doesn’t work. If anything, it only makes her double down. But giving her too much control doesn’t work either. Too much control and I’m back to doubting my writing enough to stop. Given I’m not ready to walk away from writing, this just isn’t an option.

Reframing the narrative.

The key appears to be in finding the balance. Acknowledging and maybe even sometimes embracing her, but always finding a way to work alongside her.

Writing in spite of her hasn’t done me any favours and if she is along for the ride regardless, we may as well learn to live it together.

If past experience is anything to go by, I have no doubt she will always have something to say. But I’m learning to adjust the volume, and take it all with a grain of salt.

It has also been helpful to remind myself where I am in the process. First drafts are the time to get messy and let your creativity free. Which also means, the majority of what my Inner Critic has to say right now is probably the most irrelevant it could ever be in a practical sense, making this the optimal time to turn her volume right down.

And who knows, maybe come editing time she may even have something useful to say.

After all, at their core an inner critic’s main goal is to stop us from taking risks and keep us safe.

So, what if we respect that part of it, while reframing the narrative into something more useful, something more supportive that leaves us feeling cared for and important rather than doubtful and bitter.

I’d love to hear about your experiences with your Inner Critic and anything that’s worked or hasn’t. Let me know in the comments below.

Monthly happenings:

WIP 1: 40,058 words (affectionately known as "Book 1") + 958 words in October

WIP 2: 22,044 words (affectionately known as "Book 2") no change I had taken a break from writing my WIPs for some time as I worked on building The Fledgling Fictionist. I spent a good part of this month trying to reconnect with Book 1, it's characters and trying to work past where things felt stuck. So despite a low word count I am still happy with the progress. After all, sometimes that necessary progress isn't reflected in a word count. Things that have inspired me this month: The way an audio performance can bring it's own personality to a book, (Teddy Hamilton I'm looking at you this time). Advice from a published indie author to not simply read the unfinished WIP when stuck, but actually print it out and put pen to paper (thanks Vyk!). The beachy vibes playlist my 11 year old daughter and I put together (with everything from Karol G and Pharrell Williams to Blondie. Moments in a book like this: "As the music faded to silence, they stayed close. Huddled in the study, they swayed together, dancing to music that lingered in the air." from The Princess Knight by Cait Jacobs - highly highly recommend this one (a full review can be found on my Bookstagram page).